Was I Clueless?
They called me clueless.
And for a while, I believed them.
When you’re knee-deep in court papers, CMS letters, rogue solicitor drama, and trying to keep your kids’ lives afloat — it’s easy to feel like maybe they’re right.
But they weren’t.
They were wrong.
And the moment I stopped swallowing those old stories — that I wasn’t smart enough, strong enough, or “legal” enough — was the moment I started to rise.
The Breakdown Before the Breakthrough
Let’s rewind to a solicitor I used. The one who made court applications without my knowledge. Yep seriously! The one whose actions ended in a wasted costs order. You couldn’t make it up! It was messy, unjust, and downright damaging.
The fallout? I got hit with a litigation civil restraining order. On paper, it looked like defeat. Like I’d gone too far, pushed too hard, fought too loud.
But in reality? It was the beginning of the turnaround.
That order meant I finally had a gatekeeper. No more being passed around like a cautionary tale. No more random judges unfamiliar with my case. Just structure. Continuity. A real shot at being heard.
Enter: My Superstar Barrister
Here’s the part they don’t tell you in the UK system: most people don’t get to work directly with the person who’ll stand up for them in court.
You hire a solicitor. They brief a barrister. You might get 15 minutes with the person defending your life.
But after the chaos, I changed that. I went Public Access.
I found a barrister who believed in the case, and more importantly — believed in me. We worked side-by-side. I wasn’t just a client. I was part of the strategy, the evidence, the argument.
And something shifted.
I no longer felt like I was trying to survive the system. I started to use it effectively. Navigating it. Leveraging it to protect my future and rewrite my story.
The Mindset Shift That Changed Everything
Let’s be clear: I didn’t wake up one morning suddenly full of confidence and clarity. I’d been bruised, gaslit, financially drained, and legally cornered.
But I decided that believing in myself wasn’t optional anymore.
I couldn’t afford to play small. My boys were watching. My future depended on it. And no one was coming to save me.
So I saved myself.
With a sharp mind, a sharper barrister, and a total mindset reset, I started to win. Not just in hearings, but in how I showed up. In how I planned. How I communicated. How I stood my ground when the pressure mounted.
If You’re at Rock Bottom…
I see you. I’ve been you.
Maybe you’re still in the fog. Maybe your CMS letters are stacking up. Maybe your ex is still trying to manipulate the system. Maybe you haven’t had your “clued up” moment — yet.
But it can come.
Start with your mindset. That’s what changed everything for me. Not a magic formula. Not overnight success. Just a simple decision to stop letting other people define what I was capable of.
Your First Step Forward
If any part of my story feels even a little bit familiar — I want you to know, I didn’t forget you when I was rebuilding.
I made this guide to help you. For the version of me who used to lie awake at night wondering how I’d ever feel normal again. For the person staring at their inbox, frozen. For the parent wondering if they’re the only one who feels this lost. You’re not.
A lot of the beliefs that kept me stuck — they’re in this eBook. Named. Reframed. Replaced with truths I earned the hard way.
Because once we start flipping doubt into belief, something powerful happens: we shift. Our energy changes. Our thinking clears. And suddenly, momentum builds. Positivity breeds positivity. The first brave step makes the next one feel possible.
You won’t just read this guide — you’ll feel it. You’ll start to recognise your own strength. And from there?
There’s no stopping you.
📘 [Download the Limiting Beliefs eBook]
Even if you only take one idea from it — let it be this: you were never clueless. You were climbing. And the toughest climbs grow the strongest people.
Welcome back to the fight — only this time, you’re clued up.